Some times, oh who am I kidding...almost every moment!, work is stressful. You work with idiots, you work for an idiot and you deal with idiots. So here are some helpful reminders when the edge of the cliff looks more and more inviting.
1. It is against work policy to jump across the counter and try to slap the stupid off of someone.
2. Your boss may not know jack sh**t, but it's best to tell him/her that with your inner voice.
3. When the phone rings, it is perfectly acceptable to say "F**k off"...just make sure your co-worker isn't in the process of picking up said phone.
4. The person on the other end of the phone may very well be a jacka**, but they tend to call administration if they actually hear you say it.
5. It's ok if the best laugh you get all day is from making fun of the two bit trailer park hooker who just walked away from your window.
6. No matter how crap the day is, it is still against the rules to break out the maragitas...even if it is after lunch.
7. Remember: There is a fine line between not listening and not giving a sh**t. Make sure you don't make it too obvious when you have crossed from one to the other!
8. Your 15 minute break is like your own little day pass from the psych ward, use it well and make sure you aren't easily found by any of the inmates.
9. Most days you just have to face the fact that you are in the middle of a three ring circus and the ring master ran away screaming along time ago.
10. In the end, when all seems lost and the world is falling down around you, keep in mind: you only have yourself to blame! After all, no one put a gun to your head and made your stupid a** drive to work today!
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